Back Pew Silence

Although my daily life seems to be in a holding pattern, I can sense a behind-the-scenes movement that isn't giving me a distinct and clearly spelled out answer to what I'm moving towards in future purpose.

My prayers are mainly about "Thank you, Lord, for your love and grace and I love you more than I even consciously realize at this moment." I feel as though I can hear the whirl of the pottery wheel as I'm being silently molded into a form not visibly recognized in my mind's eye and heart at this point in time.

To some degree, I sense I'm in the predicament of a pelican in the desert who is out of sync with the surrounding environment, but I don't have much insecurity or fear about being placed in that sort of position.

My gut feeling is that I'm awaiting a wind of some kind to pick me up and blow me back to my "real" seashore of sustenance. At present, I'm to deal with the quiet of the desert sands and wait on the Lord for His answer to my daily sitting-in-the-moment until a more defined sense of direction is shown me from One who listens and responds to those who have no other expectations in life higher than His authoritative measure.

As I've been sitting in silence the last few weeks, I've seen answers come to situations that would have put me out of control in years gone by. Some of these answers were simple answers to simple problems; others were more complex in nature; nonetheless, answered in a manner more than what I would have asked for.

As my inner being has, at times, wanted to scream out to the Almighty, "I'm a failure in life," I keep getting an immediate response back before I utter those words, "No, you aren't! Bear with me as we get through all of these bumps in the road together. Be still, and know that I am God."

Oftentimes, my prayers lately are just three words in content-"Thank you, Lord!" I then sense a peace within that strengthens me to keep the proper perspective that sparrows are important in the eyes of the Creator--ergo, so am I.

In a sense, I'm Joseph sitting in jail awaiting his future position brought forth by God. There's some behind- the- scenes activity going on but I may not always see it's playout in my current situation. I'm Moses in the wilderness learning the ropes of a different sort of lifestyle that will make me vital to another purpose that's not always for my own glory.

Whatever it is---Bring it on, Lord, in your wise and gracious manner. Although I may not perceive the current movement's purpose in a distinct manner, I do know that You are doing what You do best--molding me toward your Form as I sit in silence and bend to your Hands that know so much more than I ever can know when it comes to Your definition of shape and beauty.

I may not see the totality of your end result with me while I travel this planet at present, but I do hear the pottery wheel working under your loving thumbs.

That, in itself, is enough for me to know at this parenthesis part of my life.